Bags, Butts and Bad Hair: Please Control the Cray-Cray

It’s something we never grow tired of: Noticing problems and sharing our opinions about them. It’s good we’re up to the challenge because when it comes to bags, butts, and bad hair, we’ve been given a lot of material. So, right now, it’s time to stop the craziness and tell you all our feels.

First, ladies, what are you carrying?

Stop, look down, and take a hard close look at your essential carry-on. Is it dated? Is it worn out? Or did you borrow it from your grandma?

And God forbid, does it look like this?

The expression is “Let the cat out of the bag.” Not “Turn your cat into a bag.” This is wrong on so many levels, we’re scratching our scratching posts.

The point is this: If you haven’t updated your tote in the last year, it’s time to un-clench your clutch. Check out the accessories at Nixon & Company’s online boutique.

We love this Alem Cognac Weekender.

And this Mamuye Leather Tote.

Remember: Your bag says a lot about you, and it shouldn’t say “There’s a sippy cup in here.” If your six-year-old would carry it, put it back. If grandma thinks it would look great hanging from her walker, put it back. You get the message.

One more thing on purses: Don’t be afraid to go big. Not only can you load it up with more shit (adult sippy cups), we always say this: The larger the purse, the tinier the appearance of your behind. Why, yes mam, that bag does make your butt look small.

 Speaking of behinds…

Always check your view from the rear.

Get a full length mirror and check it early and often. Too many times, we’re rushing out the door and focusing on the day ahead that we forget about the things behind.

Be sure to look at the back of your hair, your butt, your shorts, and your pants. Yes, do wear white, but keep it loose and keep it classy. This washed-out wedgey has to hurt. But it hurts us more.

Next, ladies: Don’t sweat it.

Seriously, we mean: Don’t sweat in it. The problem comes when you’re wearing grey, which is quick to show every ounce of perspiration. If it’s tight, and you think you’re going to sweat, remember these are 50 shades no one wants to see.

The problem of wearing grey gets worse when you’re heating up in the no-no region. This problem is beyond camel-toe. This is: “Camel’s been at the river drinking.” Ladies, loosen up and lighten up, and don’t let this be you.

Finally: Stop the cray-cray of not cutting.

We get it: You love the glamour. You want the locks. But hair takes a beating with bleaching, shampooing, and flat ironing. It can grow unevenly, and ends eventually split.

And despite our love our good products, no product on earth is going to fix your hair if it’s gotten to this point:

And this would make even a cat handbag choke.

If this is you, make an appointment today. We can fix this. And we won’t even insult you.

In conclusion, we are hopeful that by shedding light on these bad bags, rear views, and hair cut avoidance, we can right some of the problems of this world. But there are so many, and we’re just getting warmed up. Come in to see us. We’ll talk.

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